4/29 | Anniversaries and Unmet Expectations

Do you ever find yourself struggling to enjoy what you expected to be a really great day, just because things aren't panning out quite how you'd hoped or expected? 

Yesterday was Ben and my six year wedding anniversary. The first year we got married we promised that we would always make a huge deal of our anniversary. Gifts and going on a little trip somewhere were a must in our book.

The first few years we nailed it. The first year was Baltimore, Maryland for three days. The second year was a combo of a couple days spent in a log cabin at Hocking Hills, and then a day exploring downtown Columbus. 

Each year we've had less time and less money to celebrate- and while I knew we weren't going to be able to get away overnight this year, I had high hopes of getting away for the day without the kids. Fast forward to Friday night. Ben had spent the entire day replacing our hot water tank, which had unexpectedly went out the night before. On top of that, plans had fallen through with babysitters and we were now looking at having only a couple hours to celebrate, which meant not even leaving town. No exploring new places, no day away. I was major bumming.  

Sweet Ben was trying to console me and it was like with every positive thing he said, I just became more frustrated because what I really wanted was for him to FIX IT and tell me he'd actually been stashing away money for the last few months and was sweeping me off to a weekend away. But he didn't. 

And then after a little more wallowing...two thoughts suddenly hit me that changed everything:

1. If our anniversary is the celebration of us, then really all we need in this equation is Ben and I. I could go buy fancy gifts, or run away for the weekend, but none of it would make sense for celebrating our anniversary if Ben wasn't there. He and I. Those are the two key ingredients. 

2. I'm getting hung up on thinking that gifts and getaways are the best representation of our love for one another. And I'm feeling a little salty that we will have two kiddos tagging along the whole day. But here's the thing....those beautiful babies of ours are the flesh and blood representation of our love for one another. And that is WAY more profound than any gift or trip. 

So my perspective changed and we celebrated. We did end up getting to go out to dinner thanks to Ben's parents who watched the kids. And that was all we needed. We laughed at silly things that I usually don't stop to laugh at because I'm taking the day too seriously. We took our time eating dinner and talking and it was wonderful. 

I hope that one day we are in a position to be able to celebrate our marriage in the ways we used to. But for now, I'm thankful for the lessons I learned on our sixth anniversary. That's the rich stuff which I never want to forget.