3/27 | The Value of Friendship

So far, 2018 has been....HEAVY. A few days after the launch of my blog I got a call that my dad had been admitted to the hospital due to an infection which almost cost him his leg. He is home now and healing up well, but it has been an emotional roller coaster. 2018 has brought news of two dear loved ones facing cancer, others facing equally heartbreaking circumstances. 2018 has brought sickness being passed around and around our house for two months straight, which in turn has meant being cooped up with sick littles and feeling like I'm losing my ever loving mind.

When I launched this blog I envisioned it being a place of beauty, inspiration and positivity. The last few months have been so hard and I've thought about posting what I'm learning in the midst of it all, but I've been afraid of being a downer. Afraid that people aren't interested in the real things in my life. That they're only here for the pretty design posts.

In my first blog post I talked about how in a sense, this feels like the worst time I could be choosing to start a blog because our life feels filled to the brim with parenting and owning a coffee shop. Who knew it could get MORE crazy?

But you wanna know one huge factor that has helped keep me grounded in these last few months? Friends.

The last year or so has completely reshaped my view of friendship. I used to think of friends as optional...more of like a plus if I had the extra time. For years I had thought that friendship was a sacrifice that I was only willing to make if I had the surplus of time and energy. But I've come to realize more and more that friendship actually gives me energy to face life head on and make it through alive. Here are 3 reasons why I'm so thankful for the friendships in my life.

1. I can be completely irrational and honest while also feeling 100% safe to do so

There have been many times in the last few months where I have texted my group of friends FUMING over literally the pettiest things in the world. Or yesterday I believe my exact words to a friend were "I'm just walking around the house with Laney in my arms while I cry my eyes out." Sometimes venting goes a loooong way in your emotional stability. I feel so much freedom to share literally the ugliest or saddest parts of my heart with them. I whine, cry a little, and then they help me to move on. They relate, but offer helpful advice that helps me not get stuck in the dark places.

2. They remind me who I am as a mom and apart from being a mom

Sometimes I struggle to look inward. My eyes are set on my dreams and goals and I can view my kids as an inconvenience as my heart longs to pursue those things at a quicker pace. My friends remind me that my kids are a gift and that while my focus is mostly on them in this season, that doesn't mean my dreams are dead. That if I don't enjoy where I'm at right now, I will regret it. My brilliant friend Amy Seiffert has been key in helping me learn this lesson through her book, Chin Up.

They also help me to see that just because I'm a mom that doesn't mean I can't pursue anything else in this season. It just means I need to take on less. It's good for my kids to see their mom happy and excited. I'm a healthier mom when I'm not obsessing over my kids. My capacity may be smaller these days, but my friends help me to chase my dreams with the little time I do have.

3. They inspire me

My friends are some of the most beautiful, talented, generous, honest, and genuine people I've ever met. It would be SO easy to look at them and feel incredibly down on myself because they are so incredibe. But we (usually) choose to see each others beauty and talents for what they are and cheer one another on. When this happens, amazing things come of it. We feed off of one another and take chances and DO things.

As I said at the beginning of this post, I have felt stuck due to all the hard things going on around me. Last night I was able to get away with a friend for a cup of coffee and then met up with more friends at a boutique in town where we tried on all kinds of new spring items. Overalls, dresses, all the things....It was so fun. And while being in the presence of these beautiful souls I was reminded the value of authenticity.

I was reminded that if having a design blog meant I was only comfortable posting pretty images than I would have to say "pass". Because I'm a real human with hard things going on. I'm fumbling forward in motherhood, marriage, friendship and designing. And if being real about that inspires even one person then it's completely worth putting my heart out there.

I hope that if you are in the trenches of life, you know that you are not alone. My life does not consist of sipping coffee with my crew all day while enjoying a beautifully decorated home. And that's why I want to post about real life in addition to the pretty stuff.

I hope that if you have some dear friends, you call them today to let them know how valuable they are to you. I hope if you haven't made time for friendships, that you will. It may feel like you are sacrificing time or energy, but good friends will make you feel like you are gaining way more than you are losing. And if you feel like you have tried to have friends and are in a lonely place, I feel you too. I went through a long season of feeling like there were no people I connected with. Friends will come. I encourage you to take risks in meeting new people or in voicing to current people in your life that you want to know them more deeply.

Take heart friends. This life can be very ugly at times. But we are each given people in our lives to help us pull back the lens and be reminded of the beauty all around us. Find those people. Find the beauty.

xoxo-Cass